Never Even Thought Of It
by Stealthweasle01
Summary: Wu threw the hat to the floor and stomped on it several times screaming, "I demand a resort! I'm in Slytherin!" "And this show of bravery is why you're in Gryffindor." The hat announced to the entire hall from beneath her foot. "Screw you, I'm in Slytherin!"


**A/N**  
 **This is post HP series an completely OC. Don't like don't read.**

 ** **The story starts in 2013 i**** ** **n case anyone is wondering.****

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 **Chapter 1: Welcome to Hogwarts**

In the small town of London, in the middle of nowhere, there was a not so small train station known as Kings Cross. This is where our story begins.

No. It would be more accurate to say this is where it started, a story of strange magic, betrayal and unlikely friends. For now, let us check in on are first unlikely hero, Mitosis Ziqi Wu who at this point in our story had just turned 11 and was on her first trip to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, provided that she could find it.

(Zooms on her from aerial view)

Mitosis was, unsurprisingly, completely lost. Her father had apparated her to Platform 9¾, hugged her goodbye, and sent her on the train an hour earlier, before the platform had been so crowded. As typical, Mitosis had forgotten something and left the train to find her father, winding up on the muggle side of the train station. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, as a 1st generation pure-blood she was adept at being in the muggle world, however she had no idea how to get back to the magical platform and asking a muggle certainly wouldn't help. We seem to have found her standing on a bench, hoping to see a child carrying an owl. English wizards seemed to like those. Barring that, an old man wearing a 1920s woman's swimsuit would suffice. She truly hoped for the former, as the latter might simply be a mentally disturbed muggle.

Thankfully a young boy around her age with an owl in his trolley did happen to pass by further down the platform, his orb stood out easily from the void of muggles around him. She immediately jumped down from her bench and followed, pushing through the crowd to catch up as fast as her small frame could. A bobby she passed called at her to not run but she ignored it. She struggled to follow him through the press of much taller adult bodies. Pushing passed two people at a dead run, she nearly ran head first into a glowing wall. Luckily it was the magical barrier to Platform 9¾ and she passed right through without injury. Several muggles starred at the spot she'd vanished, only to forget as a nearby wizard pointed his wand at them.

Pleased that she'd managed to find the platform, she followed the boy onto the train, picking up her bag and trunk as they passed the spot she'd left them. It seemed that nobody dared to approach her things, likely due to the large cat guarding them.

Opening the door to the compartment he'd entered while she'd stopped, she was met with the hard gaze of the dark brown haired boy. "Mind if I sit here?" She stuttered. His only answer was a quick nod, his gaze unchanging as she struggled to lift her case into the overhead compartment. I wasn't until she'd sat down and her cat had curled up onto the seat next to her that he even noticed the seven foot long four foot tall carnivorous feline.

"Her name is Irukandji." The girl scratched her pet behind the ears, getting a soft purr in return. Strangely, he didn't seem all that concerned about the carnivorous animal most people were understandable weary of her. The boy said nothing and the silence stretched awkwardly. The train lurched forward and the platform shifted away outside the window. She shuffled nervously as his eyes stared into her soul without wavering. Pulling out her cell phone to distract herself, she pretended not to be bothered until he finally turned away to watch people passing by the cabin. She took the chance to look at him in turn.

Clearly about her age, he was taller and more muscular then her. His clothing looked fairly normal for mugglewear but was fairly clean and unwrinkled. She guessed they were new. That's when she really noticed his magic was different. it was the strangest shade of nachtblau. She was instantly captivated by the rich dullness, and lost herself staring into that dark pool.

She was started out of her trance by a plump older woman opening the door. "Anything from the trolley, dears?" She was suddenly aware that he was looking at her with his wand half drawn from his right pocket, hidden from the old lady.

"Nothing for me." Turning his head only slightly to keep both of us in view.

The intensity radiating off of him made her so nervous, she jumped up to break the tension. "Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans and a Chocolate Frog. Oh and a Sugar Quill. You have those rights?"

"Of course dearie," The woman said with a smile, pulling out her order with well-practiced ease. "That'll be one Sickle, two Knuts."

Mitosis reached into her pocket and remembered something. "Oh no, that's what I forgot!" She exclaimed for all to hear.

The trolley lady gave an understanding look. "Well I'm sorry miss, but no money no sweets." She started to return the sugar to their respective holders.

"I've changed my mind." The strange boy spoke up. "Every Flavor Beans, a Chocolate Frog, and a pack of Sugar Quills." He extended a handful of coins to the older woman.

She smiled at him and reached past me for his money. Mitosis sat down and watched somberly as the candy was handed in return. The beans and frog were immediately dropped into my lap. "Such a nice boy, helping your new friend." She turned to Mitosis. "Be sure to thank him dear."

Surprised by the random kindness, Mitosis could only respond, "Yes Miss Yellow. Thank you Nachtblau." as the trolley woman continued down the car.

He gave her a strange look before sitting down and pulling out a Sugar Quill. "It's Zahhak actually. What's yours?"

"Wu Mitosis." She answered.

"I noticed you staring at me."

Embarrassed at getting caught, she answered. "You're Nachtblau."

"I'm what blue?"

She stuffed the still moving Chocolate frog into her mouth and explained helpfully. "Yomuhbunumonho."

He was not amused. "Without the full mouth please."

She dropped the frog into her palm, "You're much too dark of a blue." before popping it back in.

"That still doesn't explain why you're staring."

"Yuimunhunamih." She casually responded. And then continued, "wovifu uvono."

"I just bought you food. You could at least answer my questions without trying to be weird Wu."

She swallowed the frog. "Sorry, yes it does. Look, my card is Lady Camilla Sanguine. I love her." She held out the card proudly.

"That says Carmilla Sangunia, not Camilla Sanguine."

She blinked confusedly. "Isn't that what is said?"

"No."

"Oh-sorry."

"You still haven't answered my question."

"You never asked a question."

The boy was clearly starting to lose patience. "Why are you staring at me?"

"You're a shade tree."

"Explain?"

"Explain what?" She asked innocently.

"What does being a shade tree mean?"

"You're Nachtblau. Very dark. I like it."

"You're not going to tell me anything, are you?"

"Oh no I'll tell you plenty." She started listing off a string of random facts, much to the annoyance of the boy across from her. "Banging your head against a wall burns 150 calories an hour. Pteronophobia is the fear of being ticked by feathers. When hippos are upset their sweat turns red."

"I give up." He opened the window and pulled down his trunk. His owl took the opportunity for freedom, dropping from the luggage rack where it had been hiding and flying out the window before the big cat could stop it.

She jumped up and stuck her head out after it. "Ooo good idea, we can go to the roof." She heard a click behind her as the door closed, leaving her and Irukandji alone. "Stay here." Mitosis ordered her pet. "I'll be back." And with that she climbed out the window.

With a small inlet above the window serving as her only handhold, the strong winds threatened to tear her tiny fingers from the train as she pulled herself out. She barely had enough room to stand on the window still pressed her body flush against the train. _'Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.'_ She thought to herself as she realized there was no way she could pull herself up.

 _'Magic time.'_ She felt a familiar tingling sensation as her body seemed to lighten. Pressing her palms against the side of the carriage, the little girl climbed, her hands and feet sticking to the slightly damp metal in all but a middle figure to gravity. Smiling at the thought, she quickly pulled herself to the roof.

The car below her shook slightly as it moved but Wu showed no fear of falling. She walked along confidently looking below her for that same beautifully dark orb. It had moved to the last car and was once again sitting alone. She backtracked to the gap between the cars and carefully dropped herself onto the floor.

She ignored the weird looks of some girls in the corridor that had witnessed her descent as she skipped passed them to a cabin that had the blinds closed. The door was locked and the blinds drawn, most sane people would've knocked. Mitosis was not one of those people. Passing by that same group of girls again, Wu skipped back to the ladder between the cars and climbed outside once again. Once she stood above the dark blue orb she plopped down on her stomach and hung her head over the side to peer into her targets window, her hands sticking to the side akin to spiderman.

He appeared to be changing, she'd gotten there just in time to witness his jeans slide off revealing his underwear covered ass to her. As he straightened, she noted his back looked semi-well-muscled before noticing a weird white spot right below his left shoulder blade. Even upside-down and 6 feet away the large scar was still plainly visible, a bright pale spot against his even toned skin.

She heard a screech as something landed in her hair, causing her face to thump against the glass. He immediately spun towards the sound, catching her peeping as she struggled to pull herself back up. Something bit into her scalp and pulled her hair. Her first instinct was to bat the thing away but the sudden movement made her slide down a little as her concentration broke.

Wincing from the pain of little claws tearing into her neck, she scooted back as fast as she could. The very moment she was safe the creature took off with a flap of wings, leaving her to smack the back of her own bleeding neck.

"FLYING RAT!" She screamed in anger and pain. Rolling onto her back she saw the thing flying away, a little ball of rusty orange against the night sky. She felt the blood pouring out of her neck with one hand. "And you ruined my hair! I'm gonna have you stuffed! You hear me you Flying Rat!" The owl gave no indication that it heard and she was left to vent and cry on her own.

After several more minutes Mitosis remembered her original goal and hung herself back over the edge to see him again. He had finished changing into black Hogwarts robes and was staring right at her as her head reappeared. One might expect a person to look angry or shocked after what had happened. His expression was blank. No emotion at all, it reminded her of a statue. His eyes were unwavering, cold, and something else, something that put Wu on edge.

This impromptu staring contest was finally broken as he closed the window blinds leaving her staring into his magic again. She pointed at the window and her finger tingled as she tried to open the internal latch but it refused to move.

"Anything from the trolley, dear?" The surprise nearly sent her off the roof for the second time that night, but a firm grip on her leg prevented that. The trolley lady pulled her to safety and helped her to her feet.

"You know I still don't have any money, and how did you get that up here?" Wu asked more than a little puzzled at the presence of the woman and the candy cart.

"You should get inside and get changed miss. We'll be arriving in less than an hour."

"Aw." Dejected, the girl allowed herself to be led back to her cabin and waited impatiently as the older woman explained to her how the cabin windows had blinds so she could have some privacy. Wu's question about the cart was never answered.

She closed the blinds and waited a few minutes after the woman had left before opening the door to return to her quarry, only to find the kind old lady still standing in the corridor with a knowing smile on her face.

"Trouble changing dear?" She asked.

"Um, no?" Mitosis retreated back inside. The window that she'd left open earlier was now closed, she attempted to open it again only to be confused when it didn't budge.

Annoyed by this turn of events and then her lack of height, the short girl struggled and failed to get her trunk down. After giving up on that, she climbed up and onto to luggage rack instead and simply pushed the box off. It nearly hit Irukandji on its way down and the feline hissed angrily.

"Sorry girl." Mitosis apologized as she jumped down and opened the case. Her mirrors weren't damaged in the fall and nothing else looked broken. Digging through her poorly packed stuff for the only robe thingy she owned. Holding it out in front of her, she looked down at her current outfit. An all-black ensemble of ripped jeans, a silver studded tank top, a hoodie jacket with skeleton hands groping her chest over that, with convers boots. Her accessories put her outfit over the top, a studded collar, zipper bracelet, a lighter ring, and her favorite bullet belt pulled it all together.

Sad that she had to wear the stupid thing, she took off the jacket and threw the black overrobe on. She took a good minute to complain loudly about how stupidly big it was. "How does anyone wear these? They drag on the ground and the sleeves were longer than my arms." Naturally the walls didn't respond. She didn't even bother trying to fasten the front, instead just letting it hang open and tying a silver belt around it. Annoyed that the yellow orb was still outside her room, Wu knew the she couldn't escape. With nothing else to do but wait, she pulled herself back onto the luggage rack, pulled out her Ipod, and got comfortable the rest of the trip.

"Excuse me." Mitosis was knocked out of her revere when a different taller woman also wearing the Hogwarts robe tapped her on the arm. "We've arrived at the station. You can get off now."

Mitosis took out one earbud, "What?"

"We've arrived. Please leave your things and exit the train."

With Irukandji following, Wu complied. As soon as she was out she searched the platform for that strange boy again.

A voice bellowed through the light mist of the night. "First years this way! First Years! Come on now, don't be shy." She followed it to the source, a large mountain of a man easily 10 feet tall with course black hair and matching beard. A brown leather trench coat. His magic looked a little different from everyone around him but it wasn't anything unusual enough to hold her interest. Instead she found the Nachtblau orb and tried to press through the group of smaller orbs around it.

Sadly she was unable to reach her target as she was swept up as the throng started to move. The big man led them away down a steep, rocky, unlit path that ended at a dock. The castle could be seen, standing atop the cliffs far across the water. Many students pointed and whispered in awe at the sight until the booming voice interrupted their revere. "No more than four to a boat. Be careful now, but don't dawdle."

The boy she was following took the last seat in one boat forcing her to find another nearby. When all the children were seated the boats lurched forward, triggering some startled yelps.

"Look at that." The girl next to her uttered. "It's beautiful. Never actually thought I'd get to see Hogwarts."

Mitosis tried to see the past the bright magic at the castle itself but it was impossible, like starting into the sun. She had to turn away and blink a few times to clear her vision. "Yeah not looking forward to living there."

"What? Why not?" A freckled red haired boy yelled in shock.

"Why would you want to live in that?" Wu responded waving one arm towards the bright white light, unsure how these people could stand the sight of the frankly blinding magic.

"Well it's not a bad place to live, my brothers have told me-." Wu stopped paying attention as her eyes wandered back to the strange boy, his magic easily identified from the smaller, bright pastel colors around him. She tried to remember his name. "Zazo. Zoha. Zohack. Hack!" She suddenly shouted, causing the others passengers to look at her like she'd gone mad. "Hey Hacker!" She called over the water at him. "Hey, hey! Can you hear me?" He looked at her for a second and quickly turned away. Standing up, she shouted even louder. "Hey?" Clearly he couldn't hear her so she'd have to get closer.

The water was cold as she cannonballed in, just in case it was shallower them expected. When she surfaced the other people were calling out and pointing at her, she ignored them of course, swimming through the fleet towards her target. She grabbed on to his boat. "Hey Hacker."

He gave voice to everyone's opinion. "The fuck are you doing?"

"Well," She started to pull herself into the boat, another boy grabbed her arm to help. Suddenly she screamed and the boat lurched sideways as she was pulled under the dark water and the helpful lad along with her.

He surfaced and scramble back to the boat, the other two children helping him climb back in. Mitosis however was not so lucky, struggling as hard as her tiny body could as she was lifted out of the water by one giant tentacle and hung upside down by one leg. Choking and screaming at the top of her lungs the whole time. "AHHHHHH Ten-tac-los! HELP! Hacker! Help me! It's going to rape ME!"

The boy in question turned his gaze back to her, calculating what if anything he could do. Should he do anything? He'd only met the strange girl today. She'd been following him and even got on the roof to spy on him. No, he concluded, he certainly shouldn't help her.

Three stunning spells flew from his wand hitting near the base of the tentacle causing it to go limp and drop her. "Accio Girl!" Wu felt herself getting tugged and feared the beast was pulling her under, struggling in vain against the unseen force pulling her from the cold water.

"Calm down, you're safe now." He pulled her into the boat as she sputtered and coughed up the liquid from her lungs. The only other girl in the boat patted her on the back gently and politely started to fix her hair as she started to calm down.

She nodded at him, gasping. "Thank you Hacker."

"That's not my name. Stop calling me that." His annoyance was blatantly obvious.

"Oh I know, your name was Zo-Hack. Hacker."

"Zahhak. Za-Heek" He emphasized the syllables like she was a 5 year old.

"Yes Hacker, you already told me that."

"Whoa there, you all alright?" The giant man's boat had come up alongside theirs.

"What was that?" The other boy asked.

"It was just the giant squid getting a good look at ya'. Just curious is all. Perfectly harmless." He gave a booming laugh. "Onward!" He called to the boats to get moving again.

"I thought we were only supposed to have for to a boat?" The unlucky wet boy asked as the big man pulled away."

Wu took the liberty of answering for him. "What are you talking about? One, two, three, four." She pointed at each of the others in turn.

"You forgot to count yourself stupid." Zahhak pointed out.

She responded with the most appropriate answer she could think of. "I'm not stupid! You're stupid!" The boy gave up, wondering why he bothered to save her and if she was really 11.

"So um, my name is Lanqui Jackson, nice to meet you all." The pudgy, brown haired boy nervously started.

"Violet" the second girl introduced herself.

"HI! I'm Wu Mitosis and I like panda bears, and this guy here is Hacker."

"Zahhak." He deadpanned.

"My name is Sobus Droverson," The soaked boy said, pointing accusatorily at Mitosis. "and you must be the craziest person I've ever seen."

"Don't you mean met?" Wu replied happily.

"I guess so and thanks for dragging me down with you by the way." He quipped.

"You could've let go."

"Yes and you could've stayed in your boat, but I guess we're all making bad decisions today."

"Watch your head!" The large man's voice ended the conversation as they passed into a cave streaming with vines and ivy. The water ended in a rocky cove under the castle. After a short fight of stone stairs, the walls smoothed out and they were led passed several rows of chain and arm restraints attached to the walks. "Must be the dungeons." Someone whispered in fear. Two more stairways and several rooms full of torture devices later, they entered a corridor far better lit then the dim dungeons halls and were lead into a room where a a blond middle aged woman was waiting for them.

"Thank you Hagrid." She said, "Pleasant evening I hope?"

"No problems Professor, two of 'em took a little dip in the lake. The giant squid sorted 'em right out." And with a polite nod of his head, the large man left.

"Greetings to all of you, I am Professor Vector and I am the deputy Headmistress of Hogwart School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I look forward to getting to know each and every one of you, but for tonight we shall focus on getting you sorted into your houses. There are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each house has a long history and has produced a number of famous witches and wizards. Each house has its own dorms and common room, and will be a family of sorts if you will."

"Doing well will win your house points. Poor work ethic and rule breaking will lose them. At the end of the year, the house with the most points wins the House Cup. Of course how well you do is for each of you to decide. I wish you all the best of luck and good studies. Please remain quite during the sorting ceremony and now if you'll follow me."

They were lead out to a pair of massive doors that opened at their approach. The room inside was a massive banquet hall with four long golden tables leading up to a dais with another table perpendicular to the others. Moving down the middle, the children were amazed by the hundreds of floating candles that lit the room, and the beautiful night sky above that. Colored banners hung from the walls. The whole room seemed to sparkle in the candle light. It was truly a sight to behold.

For everyone but Mitosis that is. The little girl was blinded by all the magic around her, she could barely keep her eyes open and was only able to follow the group at all because each person in front of her was a tiny orb of magic in her sight, barely visible against the impossibly bright background. The older students off to each side were much larger and could be seen clearly, but they were still bright colors adding to the cacophony of light before her. She turned and pressed herself against the only hint of shade she could, the deep, dark, nachtblau orb of Zahhak.

"What the hell are you doing?" He whispered harshly as she pressed into his chest.

"Using you as a shade tree."

"Get off. You're getting me wet." She refused and wrapped her arms around him instead. People were whispering and giving weird looks on all side of them.

The group stopped in front of a stool with a hat on it, and before they eyes it began to move and sing.

 **(This is suppose to be the Sorting hat's song, but we're too lazy to write it so use your imagination. It's a singing hat people. A SINGING HAT)**

The whole room applauded and the professor turned to them, unrolling a length of parchment in his hands. "When I call you name please step forward and have a seat. I will place the sorting hat on your head and it will decide your house Andrews, John.

A boy with light brown hair stepped forward and sat down, the hat was placed on his head and quickly shouted "Ravenclaw." One of the tables lit up with cheers and applause and he went off to sit with his new house.

"Bennet, Violet." The other girl from their boat passed through the crowd, she was put into Gryffindor.

"Droverson, Sobus." Still shivering slightly from his dip in the lake, the boy stepped forward and let the fabric be place upon him. After a few seconds the hat announced "Ravenclaw!"

One by one each person was called, but Wu had already stopped paying attention until Hacker's name got her attention back.

"Valkyrus, Zahhak" Wu was disappointed as her oasis of shade walked forward, leaving her blind again. She couldn't see it but it took a long minute before the hat called. "Slytherin!"

"Weasley, Fillize." The redhead from Wu's first boat went to Gryffindor.

"White, Oleksiy" He was put into Ravenclaw.

"Wu, Mitosis." Wu stumbled forward nearly tripping over something in her blind state. She felt a strong hand on her arm as the teacher noticed her trouble. With the extra help guiding her, she sat down and felt something brush the sides of her head and nose.

 _'How can you stand it?'_

"I don't know. How does everybody else deal?" The shocked girl answered out loud at the mysterious voice in her head.

 _'Most people don't share your unique situation. Your gift is quite unusual.'_

"Wait, what do you mean?"

 _'But where to put you? An equally unique mind, Ravenclaw would approve. But Gryffindor's bravery paired with equally great foolishness.'_

"Hacker went to Slytherin, put me in Slytherin. Hacker went to Slytherin, put me in Slytherin." She chanted allowed.

 _'You lack the cunning and skill to be in Slytherin. You could be good in Gryffindor or Ravenclaw. Hufflepuff would be happy to have you.'_

She ignored it. "Hacker went to Slytherin, put me in Slytherin. Hacker went to Slytherin, put me in Slytherin."

 _'You would not do well in Slytherin my dear, pick another house, any other house."_

"Hacker went to Slytherin, put me in Slytherin. Hacker went to Slytherin, put me in Slytherin." She continued to chant.

"Gryffindor!" The magical voice called completely ignoring her request.

Wu threw the hat to the floor and stomped on it several times screaming, "I demand a resort! I'm in Slytherin!"

"And this show of bravery is why you're in Gryffindor." The hat announced to the entire hall from beneath her foot.

"Screw you, I'm in Slytherin!" Running towards the Slytherin table, she navigated between the rows of colored light to the blissful shadow that was Zahhak. Blindly stumbling over the bench to sit down, she wrapped herself around his arm. "Hacker! Wi'rne Housemates!"

He sighed angrily. "For the last time it's Zahhak. No we're not. Get off of me!" His attempts to shove the tiny girl off only causing her to cling tighter.

"Now that you've all be sorted we have several announcements." The other Professor had taken a seat and a lady in the center of the staff table was now standing. "For the first years allow me to introduce myself. I am Headmistress Minerva McGonagall. I expect excellence from each and every one of you. Hogworts is a proud school with a long history of great wizards, so I ask you to look to your left and your right. Who among you shall achieve greatness? It could be you, if you apply yourself."

There was a small scattering of applause from around the room.

"Now onto staffing. After 65 years of teaching, Professor Sprout has retired to live her dream of seeing the world. Taking her place is one of her former star pupils, Professor Neville Longbottem." A black hair man with a trimmed beard stood up and waved slightly to the polite applause.

"On a sadder note, I regret to inform you that Professor Naem came down with an unexpected illness and shall be taking the year off. Please help me in welcoming Professor Blank as our new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher."

"3 Gallons says he ain't coming back next year." An older boy down the table whispered to the girl next to him.

"Deal, I bet'ya a further Sickle Naem doesn't come back next year." She jotted something down on a note pad.

"Ay, a gold says he lasts two years before he's out." Another girl threw in.

"No one ever lasts more than a year."

Another person shushed them and Mitosis was once again forced to listen to the boring speech. "-the Forbidden Forest is **Forbidden** to all students. Now with that out of the way, I wish you all a bright year."

The bowls and plates filled with food as if by magic and the beautiful sound of eating and laughter filled the hall. Everyone was happy save one person. "Why would she torturer us that way? Is she evil? Is she a sadist?" Blind as she was, Mitosis couldn't see all the weird looks."

* * *

 ** **A/N****

 **I'm writing this as a collab with 2 friends of mine.** **Should be interesting but updates will be slow.**  
 ** **A big thanks to my co-writers Saphiretigger and Shadowdeathmachine1.****

 **Read, Review, let us know what you think.**

 **We have cross posted this story on ff and lj as well.**


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